Welcome one and all to the first ever edition of “Eh, What’s New on Netflix?” This is the the beginning of an ongoing series where I, your humble movie-watching writer, endeavor to scour the depths of everyone’s favorite instant streaming website and discover if there’s, like, anything good on it right now, ya know? Up today is a little gem from 2012 I discovered in the “Recently Added” section called Would You Rather. In it, Brittany Snow plays a woman with a cancer-ridden brother who agrees to participate in a mysterious game in exchange for the funds to get him the treatment he needs. Sure enough, the game ends up being every 7th graders favorite party game, “Would You Rather,” only here, awkward pubescent make-out sessions are replaced with car batteries and ice picks. Feel free to make your own joke about how the 7th graders would still have more drama than a torture porn party. I personally am above that sort of thing…also I can’t think of a good one. Ah, such is life!
Anyways, those of you who know me or have read my work previously (Hi Mom!) will know that I have a gigantic soft spot in my heart for a good low budget horror movie. I can’t get enough of ’em! And the lower the budget, the better. So when I see a thumbnail featuring an eyeball with a razor blade dangling above it, you bet your ass I’m going to click it! So, yes, I was probably bound to enjoy this no matter what. If it’s bad, then we all get to revel in some shitty piece of shit that we can put on at parties for years to come. If its good, then we’ve found a new standard to gather round and actually watch pay attention to every October. What I wasn’t expecting was for this to be both good as well as have some genuine money and star power behind it. Any movie can get one really good actor/actress to be its lead, but not every brutally graphic scary movie can get a honest-to-god Oscar nominated actress like June Squibb (who was great in Nebraska. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor. Its on Netflix.) as well as people like Robb Wells (Trailer Park Boys), Robin Lord Taylor (Gotham), and Sasha Grey (who is in things your boyfriend has seen…trust me). This movie looks good, sounds good, and is just tense as all Hell!
But that’s not all folks! There’s more! Would You Rather is also weird. Like, really weird. Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator) is off the wall as the sadistic, philanthropist who forces his unwitting guests to choose the manner of their own destruction, and his butler Bevans (Jonny Coyne, Nightcrawler) is creepy as fuck with his goddamned little smirk. Oh man is he good. That doesn’t mean that any of the stress is alleviated, just that it comes paired with enough, well, weirdness to elevate it to the next level. It comes together to be like a Saw sequel, where the characters are forced to harm themselves and each other, but with a crazily dark sense of humor which the blockbuster series could only dream of.
I was not expecting to like this anywhere near as much as I did. I thought, “Yeah, this could be a fun way to relax and wind down after a long week.” I didn’t have any notion that my heart would be going at the rate that it was for as long as it did. So all I can say is that if you’ve ever wanted to see the Crab Man from My Name is Earl whip the absolute shit out of a guy, then friends have I got this film for you.
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