Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bare witness to the holy union of Man and Movie. When Man is without Movie, he wanders listlessly through life, unable to find anything to occupy his time and knowing that he is separated from his better half. Without Man, Movie remains unplayed and unwatched. The DVDs and VHSs of the world grow dusty and are slowly pushed to the back of the shelf, never to be heard from again. But when these two magnificent lovers are brought together, the fullness of their love is allowed to flower and they are able to waste two hours or so in each others exquisite company. Now, you may place this LaserDisc around your finger and kiss the television screen. No, I assure you that this is beautiful and not at all weird as fuck. Well I think YOU’RE weird! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Whatever, let’s see what’s new on Netflix.
Creep has got to be the lowest of low budget movies. Its a found footage horror movie that has a cast of exactly two people (maybe three if you count a voice on the phone) and long stretches of it take place out in the middle of the woods. The camera used to film everything isn’t even that great. A lot of scenes are a bit fuzzy, but not in a bad, out of focus way. Just in a low resolution sort of way. I didn’t notice any real special effects, either digital or practical, and if they were there, then they were probably done on camera. I think the credits had about twenty names in it and the run time is only an hour and seventeen minutes. You could probably do a shot-for-shot remake of this movie today in your backyard and it wouldn’t look that much different.
What sets Creep apart from similar ultra low budget fare, is the story. What starts out as a “cabin-in-the-woods” type thing takes a pretty massive, albeit logical, twist about halfway through. In it, a filmmaker named Aaron (the movie’s director, Patrick Brice) is hired by Josef (Mark Duplass) to create a video diary of his life. Ya see, Josef is dying and wants to be able to give this tape to his unborn son. The two of them hike through the woods and trade stories, finishing out the day over a few drinks. At this point, Josef’s eccentricities, which have been slowly revealed up to this point, elevate into outright disturbing behavior and Aaron tries to make his getaway. There is a scuffle, and the camera cuts out.
We then see footage of Josef dragging some trash bags out to the woods and burying them. Then, without warning the camera turns around and it is revealed that Aaron has made it safely home and is recording this video that Josef has sent him. The rest of the film will take place at Aaron’s home and center around his being stalked and trying to put an end to his relationship with Josef.
We’ve been blessed with a lot of good plays on the old “cabin-in-the-woods” trope recently. There was Cabin Fever and You’re Next taking a more serious tone, while Zombeavers went in the complete opposite direction. Oh yeah, and there’s also Cabin in the Woods, which is one of the best horror films/commentaries on horror films of the past few years. But despite our wealth in this area, I don’t think I’ve ever seen something that has taken the basic premise of being trapped in an isolated forest environment, and allowed the characters to successfully escape halfway through.
Creep is one of those ideas so simple that you can’t believe that no one’s ever thought of it before. This plot mechanic, and the overall quality of the film, are enough for me to even forgive it for being found footage. Hell, it even uses the low quality of Aaron’s camera to add to the feeling of being watched. Like, when he’s talking to the camera in the dark, sometimes you get the sense that someone is present in the background, but you’re never quite sure, ’cause you can’t make anything out past the fuzz. So yeah, it even makes turns the found footage aspect into an advantage. Man, why did it take so long for a movie like this to get made?
