Hear ye, hear ye! I am here to make an official decree. There has been a terrible problem in the world of cinema that has been allowed to go unchecked for far too long and it’s high time that we all took a stand and said, “no more!” So I take this noble duty upon myself to say that from here on out, no one is allowed to do a Boston accent in a movie unless they are named Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, or Mark Wahlberg. No one else. Ever. Until the end of time. So let it be written, so let it be done.
I’m kind of serious with this one, you guys. You have to understand, Black Mass is a good movie. I would go so far as to say that it is a very good movie. It does some interesting and unique things that I’m not sure I have ever seen before and it’s has a few truly amazing performances, but goddamn it, ninety percent of the actors just don’t sound naturalistic with a Boston accent.
Benedict Cumberbatch is especially horrendous. This dude would have been more believable as a native Bostonian if he had just used his regular English accent. He sounded like someone who was actively trying to make fun of the entire population of Boston. I would not be surprised if the entire city rose up this weekend, dressed up like Native Americans, and dumped DVDs of Sherlock into Boston Harbor to protest this crime against their fair town.
Ok, sorry. I just had to get that all off my chest. Right, so Black Mass. That’s what we’re here to talk about. Johnny Depp stars as James ‘Whitey’ Bulger, a South Boston gangster who becomes an FBI informant and uses this to eliminate the Italian mafia and increase his power, both in Boston and across the country.
What I find really interesting about Black Mass is that it doesn’t do a classic “Rise and Fall of the Empire” type story. There is no montage of Bulger consolidating power or building up his organization, nor is there one moment where everything goes wrong and we know that his time has run out. From the very beginning, the movie is a slow burn. Bulger starts out with some modicum of power, and yes it does increase when he forms an alliance with his childhood friend and FBI agent John Connolly (Joel Edgerton), but director Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart) doesn’t show us Bulger managing his new found power and influence. Instead we get more of a character study, detailing Bulger’s decent further and further into darkness. A slow, deliberate story, punctuated by staccato bursts of ultra violence.
And this choice succeeds if for no other reason than Johnny Depp. He absolutely knocks this role out of the fucking park. He shifts effortlessly from charming, to sinister, to downright terrifying and back again, and the result is so damn unsettling. Throughout the whole movie, I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if he were allowed to play the Joker in a R-rated Batman movie. Like, could you imagine that? How amazing would that be?!
Ugh, I could probably talk about Depp for about 5 more pages, but I won’t subject you, my wonderful readers, to that sort of jabbering. Instead I’ll just say that this is probably Depp’s first really fantastic role since, what, Public Enemies in 2009? Finding Neverland in 2004? Black Mass proves that he is one of our great modern actors and his talents have been wasted for years. This is what happens when we get him away from Tim Burton for five fucking minutes and give him something to do that he actually cares about. Its incredible.
And that’s what there really is to say about Black Mass. It’s an wildly fascinating movie that suffers any time that Depp isn’t on screen. If you need to use the bathroom, wait until there’s a scene at the FBI headquarters. You won’t be missing anything. You have to see this for Depp and Depp alone. This is the sort of role that lets you forgive him for making a fifth (FIFTH!!!) Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Ok, maybe not forgive him, but at least makes it a little more palatable.
Plus he’s the only person in this movie who sounds like a native Bostonian, and that’s worth something, right?
